How in the names of heaven and earth did I get here?
Two weeks ago I was a kid who sat at home, watching TV and vacuuming occasionally. Now I am a scholar who sits at the feet of apostles and prophets.
Having anticipated this Sunday for two weeks, I reveled in the spirit of Regional Conference, at which Boyd K. Packer and Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught; and a CES Fireside, which Elder Holland spoke at. Conference was edifying: Elder Packer related our city's history and the servants of the Lord who paved the way for our lives here; Elder Uchtdorf's remarks centered around the importance of strengthening the family. He counseled us to invest only in eternal returns, to diligently study Chapter 3 of Preach My Gospel, the scriptures, to pray, and to listen to the prophets, avoiding all other "lengthy secondary sources." Inviting us to ask for ourselves, he posed the questions: (1) What are you personally doing to increase your faith in Heavenly Father and the Savior? (2) What are you doing to strengthen the institution of marriage and the family? "Relight the fire of conversion in 
your life," he invited, by (1) having a current temple recommend, (2) studying the word of God daily, and (3) speaking with God daily.
your life," he invited, by (1) having a current temple recommend, (2) studying the word of God daily, and (3) speaking with God daily.While Conference was a good helping of good old church, attending the CES fireside felt more like attending a rock concert. Elder Holland is an apostle I came to love quickly and deeply (is choosing a favorite apostle punishable by fire? I'm pretty sure that's mainly only not paying tithing). I have much faith and a deep testimony that his words of those of God's, light that is sure to edify. Even though the fireside started at 6, I rallied two girls to walk to the meeting at 4 to ensure good seats. We had no idea we'd be early enough to sit on the floor of the Marriott Center, twenty five feet away from the pulpit to where Elder Holland would speak.
After walking in, while we stood, he blew a kiss to the crowd and waved for us to sit. My eyes reverted to him through the opening remarks and the song. His eyes alternated between looking down at the floor in thought and up through the roof to where I imagined he saw heaven. And when he stood to speak I heard his same, sweet, comforting voice.
I became converted to the gospel the year Joseph Smith's birthday was celebrated and the Book of Mormon challenge was issued. Sometimes, if the time is right, I'll weep at even hearing Joseph's name. And it was of Joseph that Elder Holland spoke. But, if it were possible, his words had even additional meaning to me.
He spoke of Joseph's experience in Liberty jail, which I will not relate here. Its significance to me is my experience with references to that story in particular:
As I walked the halls of Liberty High School, where I would soon become a freshman more than four years ago, I made an off handed comment about "what a trial Liberty will be." Somehow Liberty jail and Joseph's harrowing experience there was brought up. "Maybe that's why I'm meant to go to Liberty High School then," I said. "Do you really believe that?" my mother asked.
"When we hear about Liberty jail, most of us think of it as that: a jail. But in truth, Liberty jail was a temple," Elder Holland began. "Spiritual experiences can come to us in all and many varied stages or circumstances in our lives... We will all spend a little time in Liberty jail." He not only invited, but in that way of his, seemed to command us from on high to read the recordings of Joseph as he sat in Liberty jail, D&C 121, 122, and 123, and then related the "lessons learned from liberty."
(1) Everyone, including and perhaps especially the righteous, will be called upon to face troubling times.
(2) Realize that these trials don't mean we're unrighteous. "I, God, have suffered these things for all that they might not suffer if they would repent."
(3) In the midst, even when you could be justifiably upset, the powers of heaven cannot be practiced unless in righteousness and no miracle can be had unless by meekness, persuasion, and righteousness.
As Joseph had said before, he again related: it is in our trials that we must let our bowels be filled with charity, and it is at that time that a Christian life may matter the most.
He concluded with one of the sweetest blessings I have ever had sealed upon me. "As surely as if my hands were upon your heads," he blessed us, speaking as if directly to my soul.
If the gospel were not true, my life would be meaningless. No endeavor is worth human suffering or amounts to true joy unless it is to come unto Him. Go. Be alone with His spirit. Be still, and know that He is God. You are His work and His glory.
Experience this fireside for yourself:
(during the shot of the chorister standing up for the opening song I am framed in the bottom left corner)
To experience more of Elder Holland's addresses, use the links below:
2 comments:
Megan, my daughter, I love you. You are precious to me and those who truly know you. I talked with your brother, earlier tonight, about the discussion you and I had years ago...about the fact that you must decide for yourself if God is real, if the struggles of the gospel are worth it. How grateful I am that you chose to believe. Look at the path it has started you on. Never forget these times. They will fortify you. My love to you...Mom.
Megan you have turned into such an amazing women, I am always amazed at your insight and how wonderful and sweet your testimony is.
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