Mail Girl Anger Management

Author: Megan Licious | |

I need to vent.


This is for all Helaman Hall residents and for any who may relate/find these things funny/ridiculous:


Complaints:

• Do not come up to the desk and ask for something if you are talking on the phone (unless you are a very nice person and are talking to your mom/grandma). If you can't hear me, I can't help you.
• Do not walk up to the desk and say, "I have a package," and nothing else. Obviously. Otherwise we wouldn't be having a conversation. Similarly, do not walk up to the desk, shove your slip in my face, and say "here you go."
• Do not come up to the desk and shove (yes people do this) your package slip into my hands/face even though I am obviously working/on the phone. It will not make me pay more attention to you any faster.
• In front of the desk there is a bookcase so that people can set their things down/the office can set out fliers/whatever; HOWEVER, when you set things down there, I cannot reach across both the huge desk and the bookcase to pick them up. My arm is relatively normal human length: I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Please do not place your package slip on the edge of the bookcase in front of you and stare at me until I pick it up.
• Do not make the illogical demand for change/a stamp before I've finished your transaction. I cannot open the cash register before I've made the transaction. Seems logical to me. Also, do not say things like, "Um, can I please just have my stamp now?" Yes, they are kept in the register and no, you cannot have it until it opens. Also logical. If you are in that much of a hurry, you should have waited to come in to mail your letter to your seventh missionary this week.
• Do not come in and ask if you can go see if your package is in the back because you don't have a slip. If there's a package, there will be a slip. We are not dumb and definitely not that slow. Believe it or not, we are actually a functioning, up-to-date business. No, we will not search through piles of sorted, tagged packages to find one that we "may" have missed. Because we didn't.
• If you call because you locked yourself out of your room while showering, and you are in a towel, and you cannot find anyone to come get a key for you, no I will not bring the key to you in person. Especially if you are a boy (I have never heard of a girl doing this. Hm). And don't get upset/even more impatient and put out when I offer to do what little I can (which is of course ridiculous and inconvenient for everyone, including us, but which we are obligated to offer. Duh).

Suggestions:

• Come in and check your mail while eating something. That way, if you need to talk to me, neither of us have to feel bad that you can't talk because you'll have a legitimate reason. Donuts are preferable because then I know you're a happy person.
• Try saying please and thank you. It won't kill you.
• In fact, try giving any type of humanistic salutation at all.
• Appreciate having service as much as I appreciate having the opportunity to give it.

Have a nice day.